As we are near to SHAVUOT I want to talk about the Jewish attitude to converts. 

On one hand we never try to convince or force a gentile to be a Jew.  On the other hand, the Torah commanded us to love them. It is forbidden to taunt the proselyte by reminding him of his non-Jewish past, or to tell him that he is unfit to study G-d’s Torah. Who more than a Jew should understand the hurt felt as an unwanted stranger? There is a special  commandment to love the Ger/(Leviticus 19 34) But sometimes  even the Rabbi can’t help.

 

This article is written as a conversation to give this message:

A: Shalom, am I speaking with the Rabbi?

R: Yes. Speaking.

A: My name is Alf.  I am a Jew who lives in New Zealand and I wanted to ask you a question:  Is it possible to convert a toddler to Judaism?

R: Yes.  According to the Talmud, if a parent (father or mother) is converting and he or she has small children, they can be converted at the same time (after they have had a Brit milah and rinsing in the mikveh).

A: Is this enough?

R: Yes, but only till the age of twelve or thirteen, when the child becomes Bat or Bar Mitzvah.  In this case, the child will be asked before they celebrate their entry into Judaism, if they want to continue to be Jewish or not.

A: Are you serious?

R: Yes.  I was a witness to this occasion some twenty years ago when a child of a mother who was converted here in Wellington  reached his Bar Mitzvah and the Rabbi asked him publicly “do you want to continue to be  a Jew or not?”

A: A few months ago I had a son and we had a brit milah.

R: Who was the mohel?

A: It was performed in hospital by a doctor.

R: In this case it was an operation or circumcision and unfortunately can’t be considered a brit (which mean covenant with G-D)

A: But when the doctor performed the circumcision, I recited the appropriate bracha for a brit from a paper that my father had faxed to me.

R: Can I ask you why you are telling me all this?

A: Sorry, I should tell you that my wife is not Jewish and I thought that you could help me to convert our child.  By the way, we also have a daughter who is five years old.

R: It’s not so simple.

A: Why? I am a Jew.  My mother and father are Jewish, so what’s the problem?

R: Because the children, according to the Halacha are not Jews, so they are not obliged to do anything.  If the Beth Din converts them, it means that every non kosher food eaten or every breaking of the Shabbat law will be considered a sin, so why do we have to do this to them today?  Are you Shomer Shabbat and eat only kosher?

A: No.  It’s impossible. I live in a very small place where I am the only Jew.

R: So why is it bothering you?

A: Because I am a Jew as I told you and come from a very traditional family.  My grandfather was a President of a Shul many years ago and I am thinking of the future.

A: Why didn’t you think of the future six years ago?

There is no answer.

A: Tell me Rabbi, it’s not their fault, so why punish the children for the parents’ deeds?

R: You know, the world is full of choice and every act that we perform has consequences.  It’s true that the children are not at fault but when a child is born to a mother who drank or smoked during pregnancy and they suffer, that’s not their fault either.

A: So what do you advise me, Rabbi?

R: I think that you have to wait until the children are of an age where they are independent and then they can decide about their future.  Meantime you should try to show them the Jewish way of life. Explain to them and they will make their choice.

A: My mother, who visited last month, really wants me to convert the children.  My father is very upset.  I don’t think my grandfather knows yet.

R: What does your wife think?

A: We don’t talk about it but I think that we should continue my grandfather’s traditions. 

To summarise:

R: Alf, to be a Jew means 24/7.  Every deed that we do against the Halacha distances us from our roots.  Every mitzvah that we do brings us closer. I have no doubt that the priority for every Jew and every gentile who converted by free choice, is to continue this wonderful chain even though it involves restrictions and burden.

A: Last question, Rabbi – do you have another solution?

R: Yes.  A better and quicker solution is that if you and the mother of the children move to live in a Jewish community, decide to accept a Jewish way of life, keep Shabbat and kashrut and start to learn from the beginning, you can make the process of conversion for the whole family. In one year you can all be converted.

A: I don’t need to be converted.  I am Jewish.

R: Certainly but it will not harm you to study a little and go back to your roots.  I wish you well.